I started out with a great idea in my head to do a contrast on two seemingly different books about self-help, (much as I hate this term!) The past couple of years I have been reading up on self-esteem, and through various avenues, and discussions with others came upon The Secret. I am going to admit, I had seen it in stores before, and never gave it much of a glance. The sheer number of copies in the display screamed that it must be endorsed by some big name, and I don't know if I just like being contrary or what, but every book or series that gets lots of media hype screams to me--walk away! To this day I have not, (nor do I plan to) read the Harry Potter series, or the Fifty Shades trilogy. Part of me figures they must be good if they are that popular, but there are so many good books out there to read that never get that hype, so they tend to be the ones I am drawn to. I know enough people who have read the hyped books, so I get the general gist of it anyway, but I digress, so back to The Secret. I admit I had no real idea the first time I saw it what it even contained. I guess things happen for a reason, as the whole self-esteem topic spiraled off to the movement concerning the Law of Attraction. No matter what others believe, the idea of putting out positive or negative vibes/energy spoke to me. I am also the first to admit, I don't think this energy is "magic" or a cure-all for everything, but rather a philosophy. My life is not 100% where I want it, but where would the fun be in that. My goal since reading The Secret, is purely to look for more of the good in life to keep my own energy as positive as I can. Do I blame the Laws philosophy for a shit day? Hell no!
I am now currently reading F*ck Feelings, thinking from the synopsis I read on it that it would be a 180 degree opposite to everything The Secret proposed. Imagine my amusement when fairly early into my reading, the book actually had a sidebar bashing The Secret!
Okay, maybe bashing is a little harsh, but it definitely was critical. Having fully read The Secret, I don't recall it specifically stating that the reader should expect miracles. In fact, I found it purposefully vague, no promises, just the insinuation that the reader was responsible for whatever they ultimately attracted. They even had a few disclaimers telling folks not to just assume they could attract themselves well without professional help! (Of course i don't think you can wish cancer, AIDS, or other diseases away, but the way you approach treatment can help your outcome!) At the very least you can try to make the most of a bad situation so as to not allow it to rule or take over your life.
I think what The Secret is getting at is that if you are feeling grateful and happy, it becomes easier to see things in life to be happy and grateful for. It all kind of builds on itself. The inverse is also true. A shitty day can become even shittier if you dwell on how shitty things are going. Sometimes a situation can be turned around if you can shift even a small part of your thinking and keep that momentum going.
I am reminded of a reading about life and reactions. I saw a poster in a study room at school with a piece by Charles R. Swindoll that has stuck with me since I first saw it. "Life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it." I recall being so impressed with the larger piece of writing this came from about Attitude, that I copied it out in handwriting and took it home. Basically the quote above is the punchline of the piece, but I find myself in agreement.
F*ck Feelings seems to be the realist view of the world, which also has it's place. Admittedly, I haven't finished it yet, but so far I am finding that while it contradicts some of what The Secret promotes, I have also found instances where it complements some of The Secret's ideas. I guess I am not getting an exact 180 here, but it appears to be more of a back and forth. F*ck Feelings stresses that we cannot control others, and situations beyond our scope. If The Secret is read closely enough, one will see that it never claims a person can force their energy upon another--unless, both parties are emitting on the same frequency. Makes sense, and probably where the expression about people "being on the same wavelength", came from!
I confess, I will need to finish reading F*ck Feelings before I can say with absolute certainty, but at this point in the game, this is where I stand in my own comprehension of what has been presented to me. I could have been one-sided and whole-heartedly took everything The Secret presented as the gospel, but I would be a hypocrite, as I am always telling my kids there is more than one side of the story, and the information F*ck Feelings puts forth are valid, and yet another side of the story to explore. I will do a final update when I read and process the last of the book. Until then, I plan to keep an open mind!
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